Do's and Don'ts of Kwaicore Culture

So, now you know the basics of Kwaicore.

Let's say you find the secret party and decide it's time to try it out. There are some things that newbies need to know before even attempting to go to a Kwaicore party.

Firstly, the DON'TS:

• No fist-pumping.
• No mullets (sorry peeps from the South).
• No high-heels, this isn't Fourways.
• No dwelms (drugs).
• No fighting (the music is made to bring peeps together, not show off testosterone levels).
• No pussy-pockets (mini mini mini mini mini mini mini mini skirts/shorts).
• Don't be scared away by piercings and odd fashions.

Now, the DO'S:

• Dance your face off.
• Get krunktastic.
• Meet new people.
• Dig the music.

These parties are a place where people can listen to the music, meet new people, and feel like a part of something. 

These parties are not for breeding, if you know what I mean.

So there, if you do manage to find the venue (WELL DONE TO YOU) now you won't look like a fool.

Kwaicore Guessing Game

Guess the slang words for the pictures:

http://www.seeff.com/images/frontend/branches/randburg_property.jpg

http://lovethysneakers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/wacko-maria-converse-all-stars-2.jpg

http://www.accessoryo.com/product/images/1439/1/545x350/59cm-reversible-pure-cotton-cricket-hat_1.jpg

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me6inwic5r1rpf6fyo1_500.gif

http://cunning.s3.amazonaws.com/dances/1/pantsula.gif

http://media.capetowndailyphoto.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/IMG_5353.jpg

If you got one or more wrong then you need to read this post: The Anatomy of Kwaicore

Hover over the pictures for the answers ;) 

Martin, L., 2013. Slanguage: The Kwaicore Dictionary Page 1. The Anatomy of Kwaicore, [blog] 11 April. Available at: <http://www.kwai-core.blogspot.com/2013/04/slanguage-kwaicore-dictionary-page-1.html> [Date Accessed: 18 April]

Even Horses Love Kwaicore...

Everybody's been partying hard to Kwaicore

Kwaicore Untz!

As promised, an example of a (70% Kwaito) Kwaicore song released.

Kwaicore's Purple Man

Here it is :)

Kwaicore Untz!

Stay dench.

A 10 Second Break from Kwaicore

Dear Diary,

I've been hurt before, but never like this...

.

.

.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, back to Kwaicore!

Types of Kwaicore

As you are waiting in angst to hear a song, let me explain the different types of Kwaicore you can get.

Kwaicore is a mix of Kwaito and Hardcore, as you should know by now.
A Law student at UCT was very kind to let us know that they believe it "represents unifying different elements harmoniously and brings together people that are polar opposites" which would be a great description for something like a toasted ice-cream and beetroot sandwich.

There are three types of Kwaicore music:

1. 70% Kwaito
2. 70% Hardcore
3. 100% Kwaicore

1. 70% Kwaito

The deep, dirty Kwaito beats are reinforced by guitar riffs and drum solos. It's like eggs and bacon with syrup on top. It's the type of mix that induces tasty moves and warm fuzzy feelings behind your eyes. It's smoother than triple distilled vodka and safer for your liver. 

2. 70% Hardcore

The Hardcore throat-scratching shouting with the drums brought down a notch by adding a Kwaito beat. This type of Kwaicore is known to create mosh-pits. Not your usual mosh-pits though, these don't result in torn clothing and ripped faces. They're not as life-threatening and you can still walk out with all your clothes on.

3. 100% Kwaicore

50% Kwaito. 50% Hardcore. 

Not many DJs can get the perfect balance but when they do, the mix is so dench that you feel it reverberating down your spine, shooting into your feet, and inhibition becomes just a word. It's difficult to explain the passion and anger of a Hardcore song fusing with the deep religious rhythms of Kwaito. It's a mosh pit of tasty moves.

It's a culture.

Kwaicore is an experience.

Don't let crybabies people ruin it for you.

Kwaicore Release!

Kwaicore music to be released soon. I'll post the link and everyone can listen.

That can get a smiley face

:)

Sneak Attack

Graffiti around the corner from the Kwaicore Secret Party Venue

"Kwai Me a River"

Kwaicore music has been unrealeased and impossible to find because it’s an underground freestyle music genre. The music is made at the secret parties. No one except for the artist has any of the music. It’s more fun that way.

People have been getting upset because I spoke about their video without any smiley faces. I’m sorry. You expect to be shown this unreleased Kwaicore music but instead you’re left thinking, “and then?”

That doesn’t get a smiley face.

Sentences. Too. Long.

In amongst many attempts at breaking my heart, this was said:

“Given the level of substance deemed appealing, it comes as no surprise that short sentences and limited content are more appealing than anything even remotely intellectual.”

So I went onto his blog and the first thing that came up was this:

“Peoples attention spans are notoriously short. So short that I have to limit the length of my sentences so as not to lose interest. So short that more and more often people with normal, fully functioning brains are self prescribing Ritalin before exams so as to remain focused… I've already taken two breaks on this paragraph alone. So how do we keep them interested in Kwaicore when the only thing we've really got going for it is what I have to say?”

If you managed to read either of the quotes till the end without dying, you are my new hero. Even he had to take a break.

I’m very happy for the girl whose “blog is hot on [my] tale”, I’m also impressed that you used “impertinent” after spelling “tale” wrong.

This blog is, however, about Kwaicore and is not an English Revision blog.

There are a lot of angry people out there.

You guys should get together and make a hardcore band.

“Shut up unless you can do it better. Thanks.”

PS: In case anyone does need an English Revision blog

•             http://reviseenglishnow.wordpress.com/

            

            Here's a blog for any angry people looking to get angrier

•             http://wedontdanceintights.blogspot.com/ 

Kwaicore is...

dench.


A few people have been asking what "dench" is, so let me just put it out there.

It's not Judy Dench.
It's not the kind of dench associated with vikings or hardcore UK rappers.
It does, however, have pretty much the same meaning.

Dench = sick/cool.

There you go.

Stay dench.

"The Real Kwaicore"

It seems I'm not the only person who found "We call it Kwaicore" and now I'm not the only person who is blogging about the real Kwaicore. Struan Robertson has been blogging about it since March when the outburst of Kwaicore blogs started popping up. Besides for some spelling errors and a few twisted comparisons to other music, this guy can almost be considered to know what's up.

I mean, he's even inviting everyone to the secret collaboration concert with Mzekezeke (Famous Kwaito artist) and Metallica (come on, everybody knows Metallica). He just didn't tell you where and when to get the tickets...

He didn't tell you the part about all of us waiting for the secret location and time to be revealed...
OR maybe he doesn't really want you there?

I do.
So when the exact location for the tickets is revealed, I'll blog about it.
I'm here to keep you "in the know".
As soon as I know, so will you.



Here's his blog:
Be_Amazed | The Real Kwaicore |: More on | Kwaicore |So there have been further adv...: More on | Kwaicore | So there have been further advancements with Kwaicore , more and more people are slowly catching onto this new trend ...

"Keep it real..."

We call it Kwaicore?

I was watching some things on YouTube and I came across a video called, "We call it Kwaicore".

Here are some things I noticed.

1. They don't show you what Kwaicore is.
2. They don't play any of the music.
3. They don't actually know what it is.

Why would you make a video about Kwaicore if you dont know what it is?

You go through the torture of watching the entire video in the hopes that at the end they'll play an actual song- they don't. You sit through 2:29 minutes of awkward dancing and even more awkward head banging without even getting a glimpse of what they think Kwaicore is.

Here's the info-packed video: "We Call It Kwaicore"